The Barrier

“Are they being honest just to vent or are they being honest because they really care about you and the relationship?”
( Irene Boffo)


In most relationships, the time to say goodbye usually arrives at one point or another ... unless you intend to walk down the aisle, of course (and even then)... You've shared memories that will either make you laugh or cry, and it's time to take your experiences, put them in your back pocket and move on.. But somewhere on the road of parting ways couples feel the need to promise to stay friends, which ultimately leads to more broken promises..

So why can't ex-lovers remain friends? Why is it all or nothing?

Although it would make things much easier in the dating world, relationships rarely see mutual breakups.. One person is usually the heartbreaker, while the other mulls over the breakup and pain for weeks, even months.. It's never easy to break up with someone you've shared good times with (and even if they were bad times, they were still times )...

But the person who does the breaking up feels like less of a bad guy by offering that sense of truce.. "It's not you, it's me. We'll still be friends, right?" This peace offering of friendship provides the dumper with the solace of knowing they aren't such a horrible person because they still want to be friends with their ex..

As hard as two exes try to stay friends, they can never really confide in one another.. How do you tell your ex that you have a hot date tonight, or that you and your new lover are going away on a steamy getaway? You can't even tell your ex that the reason you're smiling so much is because someone has just pleasured you like never before..

Remaining friends seems to provide us with the security blanket that the person who has been in our life will still be there, and we can call on them every once in a while to find out how they are..but we'll never actually know how they really are..

Since breakups are rarely one-sided, one party will always feel resentment or bitterness towards the other person. Even if your ex is feigning friendship, she's not sincerely your friend; so if it seems like plans with your new potential woman are always being sabotaged, they just might be...And where there's bitterness, there's jealousy. And the truth of the matter is, it's hard to be sincerely happy for your ex when they've just found the new love of their life.

It's human nature to be jealous or resentful when our ex finds a new person to cuddle up to, even if we don't have feelings for them anymore... It almost becomes a race of who will find the new lover first, a challenge especially brought on by the person who was dumped.. Even for the person who did the breaking up, the thought of someone else taking your place in the memories that you and your ex shared is hard, and sometimes extremely painful to fathom.

Leaving the past behind is hard enough, and you don't want part of your past still programmed in your cell phone. Although it's easier for the dumper, recovering from a breakup is still a hard thing to do since it means being single again, getting back into the dating scene, and no longer making that daily goodnight call you and your ex used to share...It also might be a better idea to leave things with pleasant memories of the other person, rather than drag the potentially doomed relationship through the mud.

For me, it's all up to you...if you can stay being friend with your ex...then, you have to be ready emotionally...it won't be as easy as chewing gum...it takes a lot of courage and heartache to let everything passes by your ears and eyes while you try to convince yourself that everything's gonna be just fine, and that you don't mind at all...


Well...life is like that...

To my lovely ex 'girlfriend' Nikon D40, I will always cherish our time together, I will never forget you as my first love. You are so special to me but I'm sorry, I have to look for a new 'girlfriend' now but don't worry we will still remain as a friend forever :)

Toward The Alienation World

A risible thing encountered on the way to the communication revolution, without we realize we stopped talking to one another. I hang out with my friend recently, and his mobile phone rang, interrupting our conversation. There we were, chatting and talking in a typical ‘mamak’ restaurant environment and suddenly! – I became invisible, absent from the conversation. The telephone used to connect you to the absent. Now it makes people sitting next to you feel absent. Recently, I was in a car with my siblings. My sisters shushed the rest of us because she could not hear the person on the other end of her mobile phone. There we were, three siblings zooming down the road, unable to talk one another because of a gadget designed to make communication easier.

Why is it that the more connected we get the more disconnect I feel? What I can say every new invention and advance in communication technology is a setback to the intimacy of human interaction. With e-mail and instant messaging over Internet, the forum and social networking website mushrooming years by years, we can now communicate without seeing or talking to one another. Sadly sometimes, we prefer to use SMS to communicate with person that just 50 meters away from us. Evidently, the unbound electronic voice is preferable to human contact.

As almost every conceivable contact between human being gets automated, the alienation index goes up. For instance, pumping petrol at the station? Why interact with the attendant when you can swipe your credit card at the pump and save yourself the bother of human contact. Making deposit at bank? Why talk to the teller who might live in the neighbourhood when you can just deposit your money at the bank’s deposit machine. Paying toll at the highway? Why bother to queue up at the cash lane and say thanks you to the toll gate girl :) when you already have the Touch n Go card or Smart Tag and etc.

Pretty soon, we won’t have the burden of making eye contact at every daily activity we have to encounter. At grocery shop for example, some supermarket chains are using a self-scanner so you can check yourself out, avoiding those checkout people who look at you and ask how you are doing. All these gee-whiz technology will make us to avoid human contact whether we realize it or not.

I’m not conservative. I own a mobile phone, ATM cards, email accounts and Touch n Go card. Giving them up isn’t an option, they’re great for what they’re intended to do. It is their unintended consequences that make me cringe.

The communication industry devoted to helping me keep in touch is making me lonelier or at least facilitating my antisocial instincts. So I’ve put myself on technology restriction: no SMS with people who live near me, no talking on mobile phone too long in the presence of friends and more importantly pay toll by cash in the presence of a beautiful toll gate girls muahahaha (devil laugh)..

Does Performance Matter?

I can see my blog is full of spider web here and there.I'm seriously miss photography but I'm still don't get time to fix may camera yet. For the meantime I'm just updating my blog with some thought and point of view that can be shared here.For this entry i would like to discuss about Malaysia's education system based on my experience while in the school. For those who has leaved school for such a long time, do you still keep memories of your school. The story about you friends, your teachers, the day when the Negaraku song were sang by not using a loud speaker minus one and the pitching and synchronization voice of student was like my teacher used to say like a buffalo in past motion action, disorderliness is everywhere..hahaha :) This kind of memories will make me smile whenever I'm remembering it and everything about school make me keep smile and smile always especially when I'm thinking about my primary school, a time when all friends were so naive and the sincerity was shinning vibrantly from their face.Like what i mention before, here are some of my point of view about Malaysia education system.

Arguably, Malaysia has a very systematic educational system. I thought otherwise but I may be wrong, let’s examine the fact. In my opinion the Malaysia’s educational system is more emphasize on exams oriented and solely for academic evaluation approach is not really applicable nowadays. This approach is contradicting with the educational philosophies that should also focus on the development of human capital and recognizing non-academic talent as well. The focus should be started from the grassroots. School should be a place to develop a variety of talents, identify the numerous of potential and to inculcate the various interests among students.

The educators should smartly to understand the broader and more holistic educational philosophies rather than heavily base on academic performance only. They should realize that every student has capability, creativity and ability that need to be recognized and discovered. Every one of them has a role to play in a society and country in the future. The truth is, every year not all students will grow to be undergraduates and in reality more students will be unsuccessful to enter a university. It is very important to consider this group of students by identifying their interest and encourage them to fully expressing their talents. Every student deserves to get attention, love by teachers and parents, and appreciated by society and country. It should be noted that encouragement is the most effective teaching tool than criticizing. It is so sad when some of educators still keep an ancient mentality that measure students base on the grade and performance. They will full of enthusiastic and give their full commitment when teaching at higher grade classes compare to lower grade classes. For me, as a educators they should get rid from this kind of behavior and mentality,please do treat all the students same for whoever they are.

The perspectives of Malaysia’s educational system should be revised. The good example is by observing what has been done in the developed country. Most developed countries are more flexible in their educational system. They are able to recognize the reality of the diverse and different potentials of their people from an early age. They not just producing an academic intellectual but also in the same time encourage people to prosper in another field such as sports, arts, literature and many more. An educational infrastructure that required for maximize the development of the diverse and different potentials of their citizens is fully provided in the developed country. Malaysia as a developing country should capitalize on the example shown by the developed countries. However, the copycat of the developed countries’ educational system would not be the definite answer; an adjustment should be made to suit with Malaysia education phenomena that encompasses a wide range of people from different background.

End of The Roads

Erm,quite a long time I'm not updating my blog. Here some more photo i want to share with all of you. I captured this picture during the Maal Hijrah Holiday which is celebrated by Muslim as the year beginning of the Islamic's calendar. The banks of this canal have two different surface, one is smooth and the other one is rough. Both of the banks are going towards to the same destination. When I look this in the perspectives or human life, i do realize that in our live everybody get an equal chance to achieve the same goal, however it should be noted that the obstacle will come in the different manner. Some people will get it very easily while some of people will need to go through all the pain before get what their dream for.The worst part in our life when you are drown before you can reach your destination. I would like to share a qoute from Dale Carnegie that said that most of the important thing in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. It is very important for us to works with each other because only friendships will ever hold the world together.

A Tribute for the Korean Fan :)

Like what i have mentioned in the previous post, since i having a problem with my camera, now it is the perfect time for me to dig some of my old archive photo. For this post i would like to share with you some photo that i have captured during my visit to the Teddy Bear Museum located at the Seoul Tower. To be honest that was not my plan to visit here, (I'm not a Korean fan or "hantu Korea", just like my friend said) I just followed one of my colleague that ask me to accompanied her after 3 days we have been sealed in at conference room. But it a worth experience indeed, especially the sight-seeing around the tower. I'm sure all the photographer will love to enjoy the scenic view here. I'm really impress with a thousand of padlock that hanging around the tower terrace as a devotion of love for couple who wish for an everlasting love. (i have posted this picture in the July 2009). For your information the Teddy Bear Museum displays exhibits which divided into two areas that show 1st the past and 2nd the present of Seoul through teddy bears. Visitors can see how Seoul changed and advanced over time both as the capital of Korea and as an international city. Teddy bears are used to show historic events and various aspects of Seoul. Some of teddy bear are controlling by an electronic device that made they move with action that narrated the story to the audience. Hope all of you will enjoy it,especially to the Korean fan. (I just follow one of Korean's drama series which is Princess hour..(my sister's CD)haha..the series is related to some of the teddy bear in the museum but i don't even know about the existence of that kind of museum before my visit :)

Fix You

Actually i have nothing to be said here.. Just want to share one of my favourite song from Cold Play that really attract my attention on the masterpiece of both it melodies and lyric.The song really tell a story on what is happening around us and I'm pretty sure that everybody will experience and encounter it at least once in our life and if you are lucky enough you will get more than one :) So enjoy the music....

Middle of Something

Everything is in motion, thoughts are being tossed and fermented.But so many things in our common world are sometimes not right, just not fair, and all of these could be fixed! I am certain of that. All it needs is wondering,listening, talking with each other, and praying to the God. And then DOING something.I know how it is when I feel ill,down, sad, and I cannot find a way out of it on my own. Then I am happy when someone comes and asks me, "What can I do for you? Can I be of assistance?" "Could I make you feel happy"?,"Can we singing along and etc. Once you acknowledge that you are always in the middle of something, you will stop waiting for some perfect time to speak it out and it is veritably help when you can get someone that really make you get out from all of the problematic bubbles that surrounding you. Thanks for everybody who always bring smile to my face. :)

Step by Step

The man watching his step while crossing the river, look like he takes quite a few moment to proceed for the next step.

A New Beginning

Dah mula tahun baru 2010. Tutup sudah tirai 2009. Azam tahun baru? Entah.. Cukup lah sekadar untuk sentiasa memperbaki diri dari tahun2 yang lepas dan sentiasa berada dalam keredhaan-Nye.Cuma azam tahun nie aku cuma nak ada camera baru je kot :) Ada orang nak tolong belikan ke? :) Tahun 2009 nie endingnye memang sedih buat aku, sebab ntah sebab apa masalah problemnye,"awek" aku tetiba rosak. Jangan salah faham, maksud aku kat sini camera aku yang rosak :( Sedih jugak le rasanye bila first love aku D40 nie rosak, banyak kenangan aku dengan D40 nie.

Erm nak buat macam mana,nampaknye kena la berhenti kejap la shot2 gambar nie. Kena la keluarkan gambar2 lelama yg sebelum nie xpernah sempat nak diedit n release :) Lagi satu bagusnye boleh jgk aku atur archive photo2 aku yang dah bersepah kat dalam hard disk aku nie ...Banyak jugak rasanye photo yg sempat aku shot dari mula aku pegang kamera bulan 12 tahun lepas. Dah merata aku usung kemera aku kesana sini, setiap gambar yg diambil dan cerita yg tersirat mesti akan tersemat dalam memory aku. Bercakap pasal memory nie, apa yang aku perasan dengan peredaran zaman technology ni orang dah banyak bergantung kepada gadjet2 yg sedia ada untuk rakamkan semua moment dalam hidup kita. Memang diakui ketepatkan mekanikal daripada alat seperti camera, tape recorder dan sebagainye. Tapi kita agak terlepas pandang pada fungsi otak yg Allah kurniakan untuk kita adalah alat perakam memori yg paling sempurna yang pernah kita ada. Bayangkan sepanjang umur anda dah berapa banyak memori yang kita simpan. Sejak dari umur tiga atau 4 tahun kita dah mula kumpul memori, xkira sama ada yang baik atau tak baik untuk kita.

Dalam xsedar aku memang suka bab memorizing nie, memang dah habit aku dari dulu. Tambah2 kepada pada benda atau perkara yang aku suka, memang kekadang aku boleh ingat in detail jugak. Tapi semakin banyak umur bertambah akan berkurang le kemampuan nak mengingat nie. Sentiasa nak kena improve memori kita dari tahun ke tahun. Cara yang terbaik adalah dengan sentiasa aktivkan brain function kita.Jangan terlalu bergantung pada technology yang kekadang buat minda kita jadi terkokong. Jangan sampai, nak congak matematik mudah pun nak kena guna kakulator kekadang :)Teringat aku kat sorang mamat kedai runcit nie, nak kira baki duit 10 ringgit untuk barang 4 ringgit pun nak guna kakulator. Tapi xboleh le nak gelakan dia, mungkin tu habit dia kot,suka guna kakulator, xkira apa saja mesti mau tekan kakulator:)

Cara yg terbaik untuk improve memori kita adalah dengan cuba belajar benda2 baru yang boleh stimulate kita punya brain function, main mind puzzle dan yang paling berkesan adalah dengan selalu dapatkan cahaya dari Al-Quran, itu yang paling terbaik skali. Erm, kan aku cakap, kalu tulis panjang terus jadi ayat skema lagi..huhu ..So keep improve your memory, macam ada kawan aku pesan,just keep all as the memory, that rignt indeed..Yes I will remember all the memories that comes throughout my life :) OK cukup sampai sini.. :)